Birthdays have a different meaning as you get older. You never really look forward to the number getting higher after you turn 21. Each year you try to pretend that you are not really XX years old. Why is that? What's wrong with turning another year older? For me, it was another year closer to my daughter graduating from high school and leaving home. It was another year of unhappiness pretending behind a mask. In the picture on the left, the girl in the top was forcing a smile and wasn't truly happy. She was going through the motions of life pretending for the sake of herself and others. The girl in the bottom is truly happy for the first time in a long time. She loves who she is on the inside and out! There are so many changes inside that others do not realize. She can truly loves herself and wants to teach others to do the same thing. I am looking forward to my 38th year because I know that big things are in store for me. There are goals to accomplish and lives to change. From now on, I am going to embrace every year that I am given because it could be my last. I am going to make the most of it and cherish each and every day!
The celebration for my birthday started on Saturday with a special date planned by my boyfriend. It still feels weird saying that because I haven't had a boyfriend in over 10 years. The reason that I was finally able to agree to a blind date was because I love myself again and have self-confidence.
No matter how it went; I was able to step out of my comfort zone and be me. Luckily, he leads a similar lifestyle and gets my addiction to exercise and eating healthy. He was able to see the girl that I am now and not the girl that was shattered for so long. His support and encouragement has been amazing. He pushes me on our long training runs and builds me up when I am down. I never understood how important it was to have someone that supports you in your journey until he came into my life. I thank God every day for bringing him into my life! It is truly important to have someone that is going to support you in your endeavors and will tolerate all of your crazy ideas! It is so much easier to stay the course when you have someone in your corner that will encourage you through the tough times and celebrate with you through the good times.
I am currently in training for a 10 mile race; whenever I am in training, I usually give up sweets, alcohol, and bread. I want to focus on putting good fuels into my body. I went back and forth all day long trying to decide if I would have a drink and dessert with my birthday dinner. My best friend reminded me during our run that it was my birthday weekend, and I deserved a day of indulgences. I still wasn't 100% sure if I was going to have the courage to order either one at dinner. Kevin is very supportive of my lifestyle and knew that I might not indulge even though we were eating at a winery. I looked at the drink menu, sampled a couple of wines, and tasted his drink. It was delicious, so I ordered one. It was a caramel apple sangria. Before ordering dinner, I made a comment about wanting to try the sweet popcorn. When I went to the restroom, he ordered it for me, and it was waiting when I got back. It was everything that I hoped it would be. I didn't beat myself up because I know that all things in moderation will not hurt you! Unfortunately, I have to be an all or nothing girl because I am not good at moderation. It is something that I need to work on. Sunday was a Hibachi lunch with the family. Once again, I overindulged just a little bit, but I will be back on track today. Here's to my 38th year and all that it will bring. I am excited to see what it has in store for me. Next time you celebrate YOUR birthday I hope that you are looking forward to another year. We never know when it will be our last. By making little changes to my diet and exercise routine, I was able to find myself again.
